Thursday, January 2, 2020
The 10 things you wont see confident people do
The 10 things you wont see confident people doThe 10 things you wont see confident people doIn The Empire Strikes Back, when Yoda is training Luke to be a Jedi, he demonstrates the power of the Force by raising an X-wing fighter from a swamp. Luke mutters, I dont believe it. Yoda replies, That is why you fail.As usual, Yoda welches right - and science backs him up. Numerous studies have proved that confidence is the real key to success.Studies exploring the performance gap between men and women in math and spatial skills have found that confidence plays a huge role. Women who were asked to identify their gender before taking a spatial skills test performed more poorly than those who werent. Women also performed better when they were told to envision themselves as men, and both genders performed better when they were told that their gender is better at the task.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neurosc ience, and moreWhats even more interesting is that the gender gap practically disappeared when parteicipants were required to answer every question. Apparently, when the women were allowed to skip questions, they did so not because of a lack of knowledge, but because of a lack of confidence.If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. - Vincent Van GoghTrue confidence is very different from egotistical swagger. When people believe in themselves and their abilities without bravado, there are certain things they simply dont do.They dont make excusesIf theres one trait confident people have in spades, its self-efficacy - the belief that they can make things happen. Its about having an internal locus of control rather than an external one. Thats why you wont hear confident people blaming besucherzahlen for making them late or an unfair boss for their failure to get a promotion. Confident people dont make excuses, because they believe theyre in control of their own lives.They dont quitConfident people dont give up the first time something goes wrong. They see both problems and failures as obstacles to overcome rather than impenetrable barriers to success. That doesnt mean, however, that they keep trying the same thing over and over. One of the first things confident people do when something goes wrong is to figure out why it went wrong and how they can prevent it the next time.They dont wait for permission to actConfident people dont need somebody to tell them what to do or when to do it. They dont waste time asking themselves questions like Can I? or Should I? If they ask themselves anything, its Why wouldnt I? Whether its running a meeting when the chairperson doesnt show up or going the extra mile to solve a customers problem, it doesnt even occur to them to wait for somebody else to take care of it. They see what needs to be done, and they do it.They dont seek attentionPeople are turned off by t hose who are desperate for attention. Confident people know that being yourself is much more effective than trying to prove that youre important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what, or how many, people you know. Confident people always seem to bring the right attitude. Confident people are masters of attention diffusion. When theyre receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there. They dont crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.They dont need constant praiseHave you ever been around somebody who constantly needs to hear how great he or she is? Confident people dont do that. It goes back to that internal locus of control. They dont think that their success is dependent on other peoples approval, and they understand that no matter how well they perform, theres always going to be somebody out there offering nothi ng but criticism. Confident people also know that the kind of confidence thats dependent on praise from other people isnt really confidence at all its narcissism.They dont put things offWhy do people procrastinate? Sometimes its simply because theyre lazy. A lot of times, though, its because theyre afraid - that is, afraid of change, failure, or maybe even success. Confident people dont put things off. Because they believe in themselves and expect that their actions will lead them closer to their goals, they dont sit around waiting for the right time or the perfect circumstances. They know that today is the only time that matters. If they think its not the right time, they make it the right time.They dont pass judgmentConfident people dont pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they dont need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people dont was te time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.They dont avoid conflictConfident people dont see conflict as something to be avoided at all costs they see it as something to manage effectively. They dont go along to get along, even when that means having uncomfortable conversations or making unpleasant decisions. They know that conflict is part of life and that they cant avoid it without cheating themselves out of the good stuff, too.They dont let a lack of resources get in their wayConfident people dont get thrown off course just because they dont have the right title, the right staff, or the money to make things happen. Either they find a way to get what they need, or they figure out how to get by without it.They dont get too comfortableConfident people understand that getting too comfortable is the mortal enemy of achieving their goals. Thats because they know that comfort leads to complacency, and complacency leads to stagnation. When they abflug feeling comfortable, they take that as a big red flag and start pushing their boundaries again so that they can continue to grow as both a person and a professional. They understand that a little discomfort is a good thing.Bringing it all togetherEmbracing the behaviors of confident people is a great way to increase your odds for success, which, in turn, will lead to more confidence. The science is clear now you just have to decide to act on it.This column first appeared on LinkedIn.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong peopleThe 10 things you wont see confident people doIn The Empire Strikes Back, when Yoda is training Luke to be a Jedi, he demonstrates the power of th e Force by raising an X-wing fighter from a swamp. Luke mutters, I dont believe it. Yoda replies, That is why you fail.As usual, Yoda was right - and science backs him up. Numerous studies have proved that confidence is the real key to success.Studies exploring the performance gap between men and women in math and spatial skills have found that confidence plays a huge role. Women who were asked to identify their gender before taking a spatial skills test performed more poorly than those who werent. Women also performed better when they were told to envision themselves as men, and both genders performed better when they were told that their gender is better at the task.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreWhats even more interesting is that the gender gap practically disappeared when participants were required to answer every question. Apparently, when the women were allowed to skip questions, they did so not because of a lack of knowledge, but because of a lack of confidence.If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. - Vincent Van GoghTrue confidence is very different from egotistical swagger. When people believe in themselves and their abilities without bravado, there are certain things they simply dont do.They dont make excusesIf theres one trait confident people have in spades, its self-efficacy - the belief that they can make things happen. Its about having an internal locus of control rather than an external one. Thats why you wont hear confident people blaming traffic for making them late or an unfair boss for their failure to get a promotion. Confident people dont make excuses, because they believe theyre in control of their own lives.They dont quitConfident people dont give up the first time something goes wrong. They see both problems and failures as obstacles to overcome rather tha n impenetrable barriers to success. That doesnt mean, however, that they keep trying the same thing over and over. One of the first things confident people do when something goes wrong is to figure out why it went wrong and how they can prevent it the next time.They dont wait for permission to actConfident people dont need somebody to tell them what to do or when to do it. They dont waste time asking themselves questions like Can I? or Should I? If they ask themselves anything, its Why wouldnt I? Whether its running a meeting when the chairperson doesnt show up or going the extra mile to solve a customers problem, it doesnt even occur to them to wait for somebody else to take care of it. They see what needs to be done, and they do it.They dont seek attentionPeople are turned off by those who are desperate for attention. Confident people know that being yourself is much more effective than trying to prove that youre important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more att racted to the right attitude than what, or how many, people you know. Confident people always seem to bring the right attitude. Confident people are masters of attention diffusion. When theyre receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there. They dont crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.They dont need constant praiseHave you ever been around somebody who constantly needs to hear how great he or she is? Confident people dont do that. It goes back to that internal locus of control. They dont think that their success is dependent on other peoples approval, and they understand that no matter how well they perform, theres always going to be somebody out there offering nothing but criticism. Confident people also know that the kind of confidence thats dependent on praise from other people isnt really confidence at all its narcissism.They dont put things offWhy do people pro crastinate? Sometimes its simply because theyre lazy. A lot of times, though, its because theyre afraid - that is, afraid of change, failure, or maybe even success. Confident people dont put things off. Because they believe in themselves and expect that their actions will lead them closer to their goals, they dont sit around waiting for the right time or the perfect circumstances. They know that today is the only time that matters. If they think its not the right time, they make it the right time.They dont pass judgmentConfident people dont pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they dont need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people dont waste time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.They dont avoid conflictConfident people dont see conflict as something to be avoided at all costs they se e it as something to manage effectively. They dont go along to get along, even when that means having uncomfortable conversations or making unpleasant decisions. They know that conflict is part of life and that they cant avoid it without cheating themselves out of the good stuff, too.They dont let a lack of resources get in their wayConfident people dont get thrown off course just because they dont have the right title, the right staff, or the money to make things happen. Either they find a way to get what they need, or they figure out how to get by without it.They dont get too comfortableConfident people understand that getting too comfortable is the mortal enemy of achieving their goals. Thats because they know that comfort leads to complacency, and complacency leads to stagnation. When they start feeling comfortable, they take that as a big red flag and start pushing their boundaries again so that they can continue to grow as both a person and a professional. They understand that a little discomfort is a good thing.Bringing it all togetherEmbracing the behaviors of confident people is a great way to increase your odds for success, which, in turn, will lead to more confidence. The science is clear now you just have to decide to act on it.This column first appeared on LinkedIn.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people
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