You can be a critic or a creator (but you have to choose one)

You can be a critic or a creator (but you have to choose one)You can be a critic or a creator (but you have to choose one)It is not the critic who counts.Theodore RooseveltRecently, a friend recently released a book with the disclaimer, If you dont like it, write your own book. I love that.We live in an age when criticism is easy. Its expected. But is it necessary?One of my favorite things on the Internet lately is aclip from the Howard Stern Showwhen a listener calls in to offer some constructive criticism.Howard politely interrupts the critique saying, not necessary.The listener is flabbergasted. Hes offended, insisting that Howard needs his feedback.The seasoned shock jock curtly replies,If I listened to feedback, Id have quit on Day 1.I used to say that feedback is always a gift, but is it always? Im not so sure anymore.NoteYou can listen to the audio of this lesson by clicking here.Lesson 5 Seek feedback, ignore criticismLess than a month ago, I issued achallenge to some friends to make and share one new thing per day for 30 days. We called it the practice in public challenge based on an idea inone of my books.The idea was thisProfessionals make things every day and then they share them.Thats how they get better - by making things.Amateurs, on the other hand, wait for their big break and hide in the shadows until someone discovers them. Incidentally, they are the ones who are quick to criticize those making things.Which one would you rather be the brave creator, or the cowering critic?The only question that countsAs part of this challenge, I ask one simple question on a daily basis What have you made today? Its an important question, one we get to ask twiceFirst, we ask this question to ourselves because before we do anything, before we attempt to lead or offer advice or criticize, we must first get in the game.Second, we can ask this of others. Everyone, in fact.You dont actually have to confront these people, though sometimes that may be necessary. But you should at least be asking this on the inside.That critic?That rude neighbor?That argumentative in-law who has an opinion about everything?What havetheymade lately?Are they doing the work? Are they braving the abyss, facing the fear of creation, and making something? Are they enduring the years it takes to bridge theTaste-Talent Gapand finally be as good as they hope?Or are they just dispensing feedback for the sake of being heard? Are they offering empty advice without having earned the right to share that advice? Are they a critic, not a creator?If so, I dare you to kindly reply, not necessary.Its not necessary to say you didnt like my book.Its not necessary to tell me what you think I should be doing differently.Its just not necessary.I have resources for that, people whose opinions I trust and value, those I know have my best interests in mind.These days, we live in an age where virtually anyone can share their opinion with anyone. And so, we tend to treat all opinions as equ al. But they are not. In fact, some opinions should matter to you very little.And when you hear someone voice one of those opinions, you can just say, not necessary.Or even better Ignore them entirely and just keep doing your work.This article first appeared on Goins, Writer.

The 5 Worst Bosses in Human History

The 5 Worst Bosses in Human HistoryThe 5 Worst Bosses in Human HistorySome bosses give their employees a really hard time. For the ones weve picked for you today, this would be a serious understatement. These horrible bosses are a pure nightmare.Theres been a lot of debate on whether its better when your boss is a friend to you, or when theyre an authority you should fear. Its only natural that the boss needs to be a little bossy but whats over the line?Constructive criticism is good and is meant to motivate the employee to do their job better, but targeted, unjustified critique only to put the employee down as much as possible can do the very opposite. Showing whos the boss here and invoking fear is a usual practice how bosses try to make their employees work harder and gain their loyalty. But this concept might not always work.Some bosses just enjoy being nasty, despotic and reproaching their employees for every little trifle. Take Gordon Ramsay for example hes a genius chef, there s no doubt about it. But were guessing theres an uncountable number of people who still wake up in the middle of the night seeing his enraged face showering them with F words and most creative insults such as Youre an idiot sandwich. Check our infographics to discover more of the worst bosses in history. We guarantee you wouldnt want to be working under these bulliesIs your boss a douchebag? Create perfect resume and change your job Check out ourUltimate Guide to a Killer ResumeShare Your Feedback or Ideas in the Comments

Dancing with fear How to move from fear to fearlessness

Dancing with fear How to move from fear to fearlessnessDancing with fear How to move from fear to fearlessnessYou will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor. - AristotleWhen fear looks you in the eye, what do you do?A fierce band of thieves was riding through the countryside, bringing harm wherever they went. As they were approaching one small town, all the villagers fled except for one man.When the bandits entered the monastery, they were surprised to landsee this man sitting in a perfect and relaxed posture.The fierce leader took out his sword and said, Dont you know who I am? Im the sort of person who could andrang you through with my sword without batting an eye?The monk responded, And I am the sort of man who could be andrang through by a sword without batting an eye.Its leid that the monk was crazy or trying to make a point. Instead of fighting reality, he understood he couldnt do much about it. The monk decided to stare back at fear.We all fear death - thats the mother of all fears.When we are afraid, we worry about what might happen in the future. We are so afraid of dying that we become afraid of living - we miss enjoying the here and now.You need to be courageous, elend brave. The path to fearlessness is elend an act of bravery - it requires confronting our fears instead of trying to defeat them.You dont need to be braveThe line between bravery and stupidity is so thin that you dont know youve crossed it until you are dead. - AnonymousFear is an essential human emotion.The warrior does not ignore or deny fear but embrace it. Fear is a powerful emotion that protects us from danger and pain cause by a threat-related stimuli. In turn, our adaptive behavior cope with danger.However, neuroscience shows that fear also has a psychological construct. Fear is anchored not only in stimuli but in our thoughts.As Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche explains, There is no object of fear separate from the subjec t who is afraid. It varies from individual to individual. And even with the same individual, it varies from time to another.Fear has a bad rap - we see it as a threat that only brave people can overcome. But fear is a signal that you need to pay attention to.Bravery is about confronting danger. Sometimes, brave people are just zustromning away - they take the leap to avoid facing their fears. Courage, on the other hand, brings us to the issue - its the ability to do something that it consciously rightens you.Courage is a noble virtue, according to Aristotle.The Greek philosopher believed that those who do not fear to be poor (i.e., they waste their money) are not courageous and those who commit suicide to escape are behaving cowardly. Courageous people, on the other hand, are both fearful and bold - they act at the right time, in the right manner, and with the right motivation.Bravery is about a split-second decision - you act without thinking or by external pressure. Courage r equires something more profound - it takes heart.Courage and bravery are similar, but are not the same. Courage involves the presence of fear, while bravery lacks it. Bravery is an inherent characteristic it manifests as second nature in those who are brave - its in their DNA. Courage, on the other hand, is a state of mind.Bravery could be a denial of fear courage is rooted in a deeper understanding of the situation - you know what you are facing. Its a result of mindfulness, like in the monk story.For Aristotle, a virtue consisted of finding an appropriate middle ground between two extremes. As such, each virtue has not one opposite but two. Courage is the mean between cowardice and rashness.The opposite of virtue is vice.Its okay and healthy to feel afraid. However, acting without acknowledging your fears (rashness) can be as harmful as running away from them (cowardice).This is fearFear is a signal about something that is about to happen.Most people try to hide from fear. They run away from it by filling their lives with events, possessions, or relationships - they believe that not seeing fear will make it go away.However, silencing that alarm could be harmful - the more we try to ignore it, the more anxious we become. Or we miss the real danger.Fear is a battle that takes place in your mind - mastering fear is about identifying and changing the conversation in your head.Everyone feels fear - your cocky co-worker, your boss, or even a Navy SEAL. The monk in the Zen parable was afraid too - he simply chose to stay calm and not let the bandit conquer his mind.Brandon Webb said Fear is no illusion. Fear is real. Convince yourself that it isnt and youre already dead.In this article, the former US Navy SEAL describes how the presence of fear can dry his mouth, constrict his blood vessels, make his palms sweat and more - everything shifts inside before an attack.This is fear, the author reflects before imminent battle action, And Im about to use it. The interior monologue plays a crucial role - its not the absence of fear but embracing it what helps Navy SEAL win in combat. It can help you win lifes battles too.Fear drives self-awareness - whats is it trying to tell you?The act of dealing with fear is the first step towards attaining fearlessness.We dont need more sufferingFearlessness is the first requisite of spirituality. Cowards can never be moral. - Mahatma GandhiMuch of our suffering is caused by fear.As Judith Lief wrote here Fear restricts our lives it imprisons us. Fear is also a tool of oppression people who are hungry for power over others know that and exploit it. We can be made to do things out of fear.Fear drives awareness of danger but can easily become a false alarm.Thats the problem when the danger is not real but mere speculation. Out of ignorance, we fear what we should not fear.We are afraid of being rejected by others because we think we are inadequate.We are afraid of speaking up - of expressing our own vo ice - because we believe we are not original enough.We are afraid of failing and give up trying and stop doing what we love.We are afraid of confronting who we really are - we avoid being still by filling the void with tasks, responsibilities, and endless thoughts.We are afraid of being happy - the more we aim for it, the less we can enjoy life. This paradox of happiness creates our biggest fear, as I wrote here.The undercurrent of fear put us in a state of panic. Anxiety is emotional anticipation - speculating about potential threats paralyzes us. We cant enjoy life.When we suffer, we feel empty - we allow our fears to take over. Theres another way to get back on track the Path of Fearlessness.Befriend your enemyTrue fearlessness is not the reduction of fear, but going beyond fear. - Chgyam TrungpaFear can be a foe or your ally - its your call.Living fearlessly is not about not being afraid, but learning to dance with fear.Fearlessness doesnt mean ignoring your problems with a who cares? mentality. Fearlessness is not about feeling invincible or turning fears into anger either.John Daido Loori said, Fearlessness is empowered by fear. You cant develop fearlessness - real compassionate fearlessness - without fear. Fearlessness is born of fear.To experience fearlessness, we need to experience fear first. Cowards dont acknowledge the reality of their fears they run away from them. We must stop seeing fear as a weakness or as an enemy - lets stare back at it.When you face your emotions, you meet the world with your heart open. Looking at fear in the eye is acknowledging our vulnerability - kindness and imperfection are essential aspects of being human.True fearlessness is not the absence of fear but befriending fear.It comes from working with the softness of the human heart, as Trungpa explains. The path of the warrior is a heroic transformation - you must confront all your challenges and fears before finding personal revelation.As you conquer the unkno wn and overcome fear, youll feel transformed. Every heros journey has an inflection point - this revelation becomes an aha moment. A part of the hero dies, so a new one is born - fear makes way for courage, ignorance turns into enlightenment, avoidance dies so that confidence can grow.1. Face your fear mindfullyWhen was the last time you sit down to look your fears in the eye? Thats what the monk did - he didnt run away from it. Sit down and relax. Take a deep breath and notice your emotions. Do you feel stress or pain?Capture your fears on a post-it. Afterward, read them out loud one by one. What is the sensation? Do you feel paralyzed, panic or wanting to fight back? Be compassionate dont judge yourself.Accept your thoughts and emotions - invite fear to a conversation.2. Understand your fearsWhat are you really afraid of? Realizing that life is out of our control is one of the hardest lessons. When the fierce leader threatened the monk out of bravery the monk was courageous an d stared back.Get back to your post-its and try to go deeper. Ask yourself What am I really afraid of? Every time you uncover a new fear, ask the question again. Get past your most apparent emotions - asking this over and over will help you understand your core fears.Dont let emotions cloud your vision - visualize your fears, but dont see life through them.3. Embrace uncertaintyWhat is fear trying to tell you? The monk understood that regret is worse than uncertainty. Thats why he stayed. Unfortunately, our brain is wired to seek for certainty - it doesnt like to wait and see. However, life is full of unknowns, surprises, chaos, impermanence - thats pretty scary for most of us.To embrace uncertainty we must develop self-awareness, creativity, and resilience - these meta-skills are essential to adapt to the unknown. They invite us to become more curious about what can happen.Fear is an alert of a threat in the present. However, many times, theres no such danger - its a creation of our imagination. Fear is a signal that you are getting closer to something you want - its the excitement that something great is about to happen to you.Dont be afraid of what you dont know - fear is a signal dont turn it into a false alarm.- - - Befriend fear. Listen to it. What is it trying to tell you?Be patient and kind to yourself. Master one fear at-a-time. Once you conquer one level, you can move to a more difficult one.Dont be afraid of feeling afraid - the path towards fearlessness is one of self-discovery. You dont need to be brave. Just breathe.Call to actionDownload my free ebook Stretch Your Mind, a compilation of exercises to grow beyond your comfort zone, one stretch at a time.Thisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.